what is this?
REGISTER YOUR COMMITMENT TO HAUNT THE pants off OF YOUR REPRESENTATIVE IF THEIR POLICIES OR INACTION RESULT IN YOUR DEATH.
There are a lot of stupid ways to die these days:
- Losing healthcare access
- Getting popped off by an asshole with too many guns
- Being deported or stranded somewhere awful
- Literally getting nuked by a goober with a bad haircut
- Having dark skin in a natural disaster
- Working yourself to death while billionaires buy yachts with bailouts and tax cuts
- Breathing around a racist cop
- Drinking water with mutant toxic crud in it
- Plummeting through a massive crevasse courtesy of piss-poor infrastructure
- Being physically crushed by student debt
would you still take healthcare away from millions of americans if it meant they'd come back to haunt your ass when they die?
This is hell on earth, for the jackasses who represent you in congress.
How it works
Dedicate your afterlife to scaring the crap out of politicIans who failed you
When you can walk through walls, anything is possible. This is an opportunity to let your congressperson know that if you die as a direct result of something they did or didn't advocate for, that you fully plan on becoming a vengeful ghost. If they don't want their existence to be plagued by paranormal activity, they'd better get to work.
POLITICIZE THE living hell OUT OF YOUR DEATH
Grant the living permission to use your name and story to fight for policy change if you actually do die. We'll paint your name on our chests, shout from rooftops about you, and make sure your plight makes the news. We'll fax your obituary to your representatives, and call their offices to tell their miserable interns the story of your demise in a spooky voice.
They can kill you, but they can't stop you.
What kind of time commitment will this require?
Only your entire afterlife.
What is the end-goal here?
We want to recruit as many future-ghosts as possible so we can let bad politicians know exactly how many vindictive spirits they can look forward to being tormented by if they don't change. And in the meantime, we're organizing living people who enjoy spooky activism to plot fun tactics for haunting congress while we're still alive.
I've never been dead before. got Any rep-haunting suggestions for beginner ghosts?
- Hold their toaster timer down just long enough to burn their toast every morning
- Tie their shoelaces together when they're not looking
- Move important emails into spam
- Shut their alarms off
- Indiscriminately slam doors and cabinets when they're home alone
- Unplug their wifi router
- Allllll their exes gettin' textes
- Whisper "I've been watching you" into their ear every time they sit down to take a dump
Do I really have to die before I can make a difference?
No need to wait 'til you're six feet under.
You know what's really spooky? Being a goddamned involved citizen. Here's how: